Jacob Remes contributes these "ADL Press Releases" to the
special purim issue of Protocols
Press Releases You Didn't See
PRESS RELEASE ANTI-DEFAMATION LEAGUE
ADL SHOCKED AT GEORGE TAYLOR'S BLATANT ANTISEMITISM
New York, March 7, 2003--Abraham H. Foxman, the world's sole arbitrator of what is and is not antisemitic, announced that his next-door neighbor, George Taylor should be ashamed of himself for his antisemitism. Acting in his role as the spokesman for all American Jews, President Foxman said he was shocked and disappointed in his neighbor's bigotry against Jews.
Taylor's shocking antisemitism came to light during a dispute with President Foxman over a shared driveway. "George's refusal to pay for half of the repaving costs is an obvious and disturbing sign of his bias," said President Foxman. "Jews all across the United States recognize that anyone with whom I disagree is an antisemite. Therefore, since George and I are having a disgreement, he must be an antisemite."
While at first glance, the dispute between Taylor and the Jewish People may seem trivial, President Foxman explained that it is important to note every act of antisemitism. "At this time of decreased endowments and smaller foundation support, it is incumbent on Jewish spokespeople like myself to highlight every act of antisemitism as if it heralded the building of new concentration camps," President Foxman said. "We must never forget what can happen as a result of turning a blind eye to bigotry. Everyone knows that the rise of Hitler came as a direct result of a dispute about a hedge he had with a Jewish neighbor."
"It is easy for George to make amends," said President Foxman. "All he has to do is announce, loudly, that he supports the Israeli government, no matter what it does. As I established with Billy Graham and Silvio Berlusconi, all that is required for an antisemite to make up with the Jewish People is for them to blindly support the Israeli government."
The Anti-Defamation League, founded in 1913, is the world's leading organization fighting anti-Semitism through programs and services that counteract hatred, prejudice and igotry. Its president, Abraham H. Foxman is recognized by news organizations around the world as the official spokesperson for Jews.
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PRESS RELEASE ANTI-DEFAMATION LEAGUE
ADL AND WARNER BROTHERS SIGN FIVE-YEAR MARKETING AGREEMENT
Hollywood, March 7, 2004--ADL President Abraham H. Foxman, the self-appointed Offical Arbiter of Antisemitism, and Barry Meyer, the Chairman and CEO of Warner Brothers Entertainment, announced today the signing of a landmark marketing agreement. According to the agreement, Warner Bros. and the ADL will jointly choose one film a year to be denounced as antisemitic.
"We saw what a publicity boon Abe's hysteria was when it came to 'The Passion.' When I saw the amount of column inches of editorial content about Mel's movie, I knew I had to get into that sort of action." Meyer said. "Warner Brothers is pleased to be entering into this historic agreement with an organization recognized the world over as the only
spokesperson for the Jewish People."
Foxman heralded the agreement also, calling it good for the Jews. "Every time I decide that something is antisemitic, donations to the ADL skyrocket. Since what's good for the ADL is good for the Jews, regular hysteria about mounting antisemitism is a boon to our community."
The Anti-Defamation League, founded in 1913, is the world's leading organization fighting anti-Semitism through programs and services that counteract hatred, prejudice and bigotry. Its president, Abraham H. Foxman is recognized by news organizations around the world as the official spokesperson for Jews.
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